When you have a problem, I believe there are in large two things that must be done: find the cause(s), and find the solution(s). And I think it is very important to do both, no matter how draining and painful it may be, if we ever hope to diminish the possibility of facing the same problem again somewhere in the future.
There may be many hindrances while we try to figure out “how did it come to this?” and “where can it go from here?”
Maybe time, or lack thereof.
Maybe emotions of strong fear or resentment toward the problem or the situation that caused it.
These are difficult to control, but not impossible. If we can learn to be conscious of them, they will not impede us from thinking straight… they can kill, but they can also cure. I personally do not worry too much about these “maybe’s.”
So, what concerns me more?
Maybe it is those who turn their backs on you and tag you to be “problematic” as soon as the problem arises.
Maybe it is those who say they always knew there was a problem, only after it has surfaced.
Maybe it is those who treat the problem, and any good that existed prior to it, as if it never happened.
These “maybe’s,” the killers, I find more troublesome because you cannot control how they react to your having a problem, and they are larger in size. But although scarce, rest assured, there are curers also – those who will watch out for you, stand by you, and see the good in you even in the worst of times. They are also uncontrollable, but that is all the more reason you can trust them. And what is even better, these curers can give you time and courage to face the problem!
Then, I must correct myself. There is a third thing that must be done when you have a problem: find the curer(s). It may actually be the first thing to do.