Last night, as I was getting ready to go to bed, fear suddenly struck out of nowhere. I caught a glance of something tiny and black zipping across. I froze in horror… it can’t be!
Maybe it’s just a trick of the eye, I tried telling myself.
I only had night lights on, so my vision was limited. I shouldn’t trust my sight. I slowly laid myself down and closed my eyes. My eyes can’t trick me any more! But the next moment, my ears caught a faint buzzing. Oh no, it’s real… doom befalls.
But maybe it’ll stay away from me if I stay completely still.
I shut my eyes tighter and covered my ears, and breathed as quietly as possible. All I had to do now was fall asleep, then I won’t be conscious of my fear. But hiding away never works, I guess. What if it bites or stings? What if it gets into me through my nose or mouth? It only made me more scared of what it could do to me while I lay there defenseless.
Then maybe I should find something else to distract my attention.
I gave up on going to sleep, turned on the lights, poured myself a hot cup of tea, and started to explore which tatting project to take on this weekend. And just as I started to get rolling, there it came again… A zip and a buzz! I screamed so loud, I probably woke up all my neighbours!
But maybe I was able to let out my fear with that scream.
I stared right at the unwelcome guest, a bug of only half an inch in size, and politely (but with authority!) waved my hand to show it the exit. And whaddayaknow, it flew away in quite a hurry, as if it was more frightened of me that I was of it!
I can’t believe I had to go through all this. But then again, maybe it was all necessary for me to feel a little more able and proud than the day before. And maybe, as silly as it may sound, yesterday’s little confrontation has made me feel a bit stronger facing my other bigger fears today. Just maybe.