I am having a bit of a rough day today and I think I am feeling a desperate need to treat myself.
Maybe a need to treat myself for this infectious feeling of self-loathing.
I have a tendency, almost a talent, to take a small trip-up and make it into a mighty fall. Then I start to feel like I am doomed to failure in anything and everything I do. I cannot help but think that I am at fault in all the flops and I am unworthy to stand. Negativity infiltrates and circulates throughout my mind.
So I need something that would boost my immune system against self-loathing to protect myself from the damages it is causing me.
Maybe a need to treat myself with greater care.
When I am in the self-loathing state, I do not take good care of myself. Apathy takes over and I let myself be attacked without putting up a good fight. I forget to take necessary medication that could help me ease the pain and break the downward emotional spiral. I stop taking in positive words that could make me feel better. No wonder I am losing to all those viral thoughts!
So I need some anti-inflammatory agents that would soothe my sensitive heart, or antibiotics that would stop the spreading of pathological feelings in me any further. And a diet of some healthy thoughts and opinions.
Maybe a need to treat myself a little kinder and gentler.
Another thing I do when I am self-loathing is be spiteful to myself. I pick my own bones. I bite my own head off. I eat myself alive. And soon, I reduce myself to nothing. Then no matter how hard I try, I cannot be pleased with myself and there is no way I can feel good about myself.
So I need to stop putting so much stress on and start being more helpful to myself. Stop being so forceful to be something I am not and start to show compassion for who I really am. Indulge myself a little.
Maybe I will start with treating myself to some sweets.
Some sweet music, some sweet smiles, some sweet time.