When I decided to start a site of my own, I could have chosen to write in my mother tongue. But after much contemplation, I settled on writing in English.
Maybe it is because I felt I did not have the same degree of freedom to express myself in my mother tongue as I do in English.
To make myself clear, I am not saying in any way that my country of origin is oppressive. But my people tend to hide true feelings and opinions behind ambiguous words on one hand, yet gang up and beat up on those with differing feelings and opinions on the other. As much as I love my mother tongue, I did not wish to be constrained by it when it came to expressing myself.
At the same time, maybe I felt I could force myself to be much more careful with what I choose to express in English than in my mother tongue.
With my people, I can expect them to kinda sorta know what I am saying even if I do not choose the words that exactly express my feelings and opinions. We imply so much, we seldom need things to be said explicitly. But if I want myself to be understood in English, I have to be dead on and crispy clear – I have to pour all my thoughts and emotions into the words I choose and the way I organize them into sentences and paragraphs.
So, maybe I wanted to make a point that it is not how much linguistic control you have over your speech, it is how much heart and soul you put into what and how you speak that matters. And it just so happened that I do so better in English than in my mother tongue.
Maybe I would not have chosen to write in English had I not had the control I have over it (it’s not great, but I hope it’s good enough to be understood!). I know it is a luxury many of my people do not have. So I can understand why the educators of my homeland are so eager to teach our young minds English from early age.
But I would hate to see our children grow up to be fluent speakers of English, only to find out that they had nothing they wanted to say with all their hearts and souls. English is just one of many transmitting frequencies – if the programme is not interesting enough, people will soon tune out. I wish my people would educate our young minds in a way that will allow them to air interesting programmes in a spectrum of transmitting frequencies.
I am genuinely surprised by the visitors I’ve had to date. People of such diverse linguistic and vocational backgrounds and interests. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! I don’t know what I’ve transmitted to deserve your peek (sorry if I’ve lured you in with misleading tags), but I am truly grateful for the time you’ve taken to read my post(s). You rock my heart and soul!