So it’s April fools’ day today. I was very excited and couldn’t wait for the day to come! What kind of a prank should I pull here? I really thought hard for days, then I suddenly realized something – I’m not nearly as funny and witty and playful as I need to be to pull a prank and get away with it!
Maybe I was only fooling myself thinking that I could be something I wasn’t.
I should’ve known better. I’ve gone down this road of trying to be something I’m not before, and I know where I ended up. Have I not played the fool to amuse others enough already? Why am I back here again? Can I never learn?
Maybe I was only fooling myself thinking that I could change.
Now I was really fooling around with depressing thoughts. I needed something to clear my head, then I suddenly realized there is another thing I can celebrate today – International Tatting Day! I knew about it last year but I did not have enough experience to whip up something to join in on the celebration. But this year, I feel comfortably capable enough to put in my two pennies worth of tatting.
Maybe I am only fooling myself trying to distract my mind away from what I really need to sort out?
Maybe, but it was a good distraction. It let me realize I have changed from a year ago. I CAN learn. It may look like I am going around in circles coming back to the same place again, but I am moving slightly to the side this time around – I was able to stop myself from going down the exact same road and save myself from trying to be something I am not ready to be.
Maybe if I fool myself enough times, I could keep moving slightly to the side every time I come back near the same place, and one day come out of the circle I keep going around.
Or maybe I can turn this whole journey into something that will make me grow bigger and better.
I never realized it until now, but I could not have picked a better tatting project for this post! It makes you go around in circles, but you keep joining to picots that are slightly to the side of those in the previous rounds, creating a very interesting pattern that never bores you.
Happy April fools’ day to everyone, and happy International Tatting Day to all fellow tatters!