I never knew, but when I found out, I was not happy at all.
It was in college, in a course to study school counselling. We had to practice our skills as counsellors in mock sessions, and record them on tape to later analyze what we did right or wrong. And that is when I found out that my voice sounded like, well, a squeaky mouse… Oh, the horror!
Ever since then, I have hated my voice. I hate how it sounds, I hate how it makes me feel embarrassed, and I hate how it makes me think that it may be offensive and intolerable to others’ ears. (Maybe it sounds silly, but I hate my voice so much, I gave up pursuing a career as a school counsellor just so I could save myself from having to listen to a mouse squeaking every time I review a session!) And I began to talk less and quieter.
But, interestingly, this voice of mine which I hate so much has actually made me better at another job I came to hold (the one I scribbled about here). It was a job that brought much fear to my colleagues, but as it turned out, my voice kept me from being feared too much that they would avoid me and not let me do my job.
Because I hated my voice, I talked less. And because I talked less, I listened more to others. Next thing you know, people began to think I was a good listener! I am not a truly good listener – I do not really care what others have to say, but only what I do not have to say – but my voice helped to make others believe I was, and got them to tell me what I needed to hear.
And because I hated my voice, I talked quieter. And because I talked quieter, I did not sound forceful and authoritative, even though my words were. Next thing you know, people began to think I was more agreeable and my words were more acceptable! I am not a forceful and authoritative person to begin with – I could not have made others agree with me and get them to accept doing what I tell them to do even if I talked loud – but my voice helped to make my words more chewable and swallowable, and got them to be received with less objection.
Maybe you have something you do not like about yourself?
Maybe you think it is junk… something you would like to get rid of.
But maybe it will turn out to be a gem… something that will likely make you shine.
You never know!
I still hate my voice. I still talk less and quieter. But I now know it is not a complete junk, and I can make it appear to be a gem. Now, it helps me think about how I can get myself be better heard without actually talking – how I can scribble my thoughts better here. How will it turn out?
I never know, but if I ever do find out, I hope I will be happy with the outcome.