Thoughts for Myself

Doing it all for you…?

Once in a while, I really have to think about what this phrase means. Something happened recently that has got me thinking about it again, for a few days now.

 

Maybe something has been done for you, without your say in it.

Maybe if you had a choice, you would not have wanted it done… or, at least you would have wanted to do it yourself. But since it is already done, maybe you are left with the impression that you have been robbed of these choices, and feel guilty for seeing these people nice enough to do something all for you as robbers.

 

Maybe something has been done for you, with full dedication by someone else.

Maybe you would never have asked for such an enormous investment… especially if they claim afterwards that it was a huge sacrifice on their side. But since it is already done, maybe you are left with the impression that these people nice enough to do something all for you had so much to lose, and feel guilty for forcing them to give it all up just for you.

 

Maybe something has been done for you, but not entirely for free.

Maybe you will always have to worry about someday being demanded of favours in return… and, worst case scenario, be made to pay back more than you owed. But since it is already done, maybe you are left with the impression that you are forever indebted, and feel guilty for doubting the sincerity of these people nice enough to do something all for you.

 

For quite a long time, I used to be on the receiving end of “doing it all for you.” It felt good to have things done for me, but at the same time, I had a lot of guilty feeling building up inside – why can I not simply thank them for their good deeds, and be nice enough to wish to do the same if and when I get the chance to?

 

I now have more occasions to be on the giving end of “doing it all for you,” but I am finding myself not to be as nice as others used to be to me. I do not do anything I am not wanted to do, I make no investments that are purely sacrifices, and I make sure I clearly state what should be in it for me. Maybe I seem unkind, and maybe I truly am unkind, but I can leave with an impression that I am not pushy with my kindness, and possibly save a few from feeling unnecessary guilt.

 

Maybe this is not the best solution, but I thought I had reached a satisfactory conclusion… until a new twist came in to this conundrum: how should I react to “won’t you do it all for me?” If I know I will be robbing someone of choices, and I will be making sacrifices, and I want to somehow make them be grateful for my deeds, should I still do it all? And most of all, is that really all they want from me?

 

My search continues for the meaning this phrase is to have in me…

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