No, no, I’m not doing the hokey-pokey (or whatever variation you call it)! But maybe today’s post has a bit to do with doing something in unison.
When I first started this blog, I set a couple of rules for myself that I am to never break. Rule One is to never scribble in haste. There are two parts to this: (a) to not let my emotions get the better of me, so I can remain careful with my choice of words; and (b) to reflect on my thoughts well enough to present them in an organized manner. Rule Two is to always be accountable for all my scribbles. This meant taking responsible measures not to step over my boundaries – I set goals. (I also intended to set points to assess progress in them, but I have not been too responsible in this regard… I must correct this soon!)
I still check every day, when I click on the “Publish” button, whether I have not broken these rules.
Some days I get nervous that maybe I have scribbled a little too emotively and did not think enough how others would feel reading my words.
Other days I worry that maybe I have crossed the line and somehow offended someone somewhere.
(But most days I am terribly sorry for putting on public display so much undecipherable mumbo-jumbo’s!)
I am not a public figure, so maybe I do not need to be this cautious about being received in the wrong way. I am not influential enough to cause, say, an international dispute.
I am not a celebrity, so maybe it would be silly for me to think about being blindly accepted and followed. I have no charisma to cause, say, an instant liking to everything I put out.
I have it so much easier than them, but maybe that is all the more reason I should not make this site about propaganda or popularity.
I know I cannot oversee myself perfectly, but I also know I should not stop trying. And I know myself well enough to believe that, the moment I make it about getting the nods of approval or clicks of thumbs-up, I would go right back to being the person I do not want to be… someone I cannot recognize myself. That would undermine the whole purpose of establishing this blog, I know I could not regret more if I were to let that happen.
So then, what is this site about? Maybe protagonism – the qualities, the actions, and the drama of the main character, me. Maybe that’s what it’s all about.
I say this now, because in the next ten days or so, I am going to scribble about some very sensitive matters that may evoke strong feelings and thoughts in readers. I will do my best not to scribble in haste and I promise to take all accountability for what I post. I hope you will take them not as prompts for international dispute or instant liking, but as innermost thoughts of the protagonist here.
And I very much wish that you will join me in giving thoughts to the things I put out, so we can look for some “maybe’s” in unison… and maybe even have fun while we are at it, like doing the hokey-pokey!
By the way, what exactly do you call the dance I am referring to in your language? The curiosity is killing me!