When I started working, my father gave me an advice. He said “working is not all fun and games, but don’t make it not at all fun and games.”
At first I did not really understand what he meant… I loved everything about my first job and I thought it was a perfect match for me. I felt it was all fun and games.
But that was only at the beginning. As I learned to do more, and learned there were so much I could not do, I began not to love it as much as I did at first. I still thought it was a perfect match for me, but it became less and less fun and games. I could not stand it becoming ever so unpleasant and there were many times I thought of quitting.
One day, seeing me struggling, one of my older colleagues came up to me and said “you know, you don’t have to love everything about your job – just enough to want to keep it.” And he lowered his voice and told me he only loved 10% of his work at the moment, but that was way above his threshold!
And all of a sudden, I felt I truly understood why my father gave me the advice he did.
Maybe he knew my tendency to think in binary codes – all or nothing.
Maybe he also knew that I fall in love very easily, but I fall out of love just as easily.
And maybe he was trying to warn me not to get completely immersed so quickly, only to find myself completely detached after a while.
Maybe he was trying to advise me to come up with my own way out of this conundrum.
This is what I have come up with: maybe we all have parts we have difficulty loving even in the things we think are perfectly made for us. But maybe it is perfectly normal… maybe all we need to do is to love more the parts we have no difficulty loving, to keep loving.
I knew this piece was not going to be all fun and games, with difficult-to-love long chains. But I did not want to make it not at all fun and games, so I gave up on the chains (the wobbliness says it all!) and concentrated on the thrown-off rings… I really felt the tatting growing pains with this piece, but I still love tatting!
A last note: So surprised to hear that Canadian actor and TV personality A.T. has passed away… he was the first “Western father” I came to know and I learned a lot from his portrayal of one. I will miss him dearly…