Random Thoughts

Unconscious craving for affirmation

I took the afternoon off today to go get a haircut I have been meaning to get for some time. I have had the same hairdresser work on me for nearly a decade now… I place full trust in him, for he has never failed me doing my hair, and I truly enjoy the sometimes deep and sometimes rubbish talks we have. It is always a treat for me to watch his scissors do magic on my hair, so I thought I would make it my Christmas present for myself.


And boy, was it an unexpectedly big treat today!


My hair looks great again – it’s silky and shiny, and best of all, stylish! And he cracked me up with his yearning for yoga – he told me that, as he likes to practice meditation he is quite interested in doing yoga as well, but he has not yet been able to bring himself to attend a class because he is worried that people would laugh at him for looking like a yoga guru but being stiff as a board! But these were all expected.


The icing on the cake came when he was drying my hair. Out of the blue, he uttered “you have very beautiful natural brunette hair… many of my customers would be envious!” In the ten years I have been going to him, the colour of my hair had never been brought up as a topic of discussion, namely because I have difficulty liking it.


But when I heard him make a remark on it today, I suddenly realized that his words of affirmation were something that I have really been craving for but had given up on receiving long ago. And to have it come from an expert on the matter to whom I give full trust, no less! I do not think he meant much by it – he was probably simply making an observation – but it meant everything to me.


Maybe much of the words we utter do not affect others, good or bad.

Maybe even when we put in as much thought in them as we possibly could, they would have little significance to others.

But maybe there are some words we utter that were not intended to affect others, but have cathartic significance to them, unbeknownst to us.


And maybe because they were not intended and are without hidden meanings, they are the best words one could ever imagine to receive to satisfy their cravings for affirmation…. maybe even those cravings unbeknownst to themselves.


Maybe finally, I can stop pulling my hair out on the hair issue, as well as the issue of self-acceptance, all thanks to my hairdresser’s words of affirmation.

Maybe he is a guru after all… just not a yoga guru!



I was tatting this piece while I was getting my hair done – my public tatting debut! My hairdresser said he liked the inner squiggly chains the most, and so do I! (I did not tat it exactly as instructed… I made very little picots on the squiggly chains and joined the throw-off rings onto them in the final round instead.)


3 thoughts on “Unconscious craving for affirmation

  1. Pattern: “Twentysecond Day of December” by L.B.
    Thread: “Lamé Stitch Pearl: Sky” by Kanagawa (polyester sewing thread, pale-blue, with glitters) – doubled for tatting
    Size: about 5 centimetres or slightly less than 2 inches


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