How quickly a year goes by! I received a notice from WordPress yesterday that it has been a year since I registered my account with them.
Looking back, to be honest, I have no idea what I was thinking a year ago yesterday! I was in no way up to the challenge of becoming a blogger… I am gravely technically and digitally challenged (as I have mentioned in my profile), I am not a professional writer nor am I trained to write beautifully or appealingly, and most of all, I was not sure at all if I had anything in me worth revealing to the world.
But, at the time, I must have thought it was the best thing I could ever do for myself.
Maybe I was standing at a crossroad in my life, and felt there were important things I needed to do but had left undone up until then.
Or maybe I was becoming too wound up in being someone others expected me to be, I was coming undone and would soon lose myself completely unless I did something about it.
So, on the spur of the moment, I registered myself here. I still cannot believe I did – it is so unlike me to jump into something without first exhausting my thoughts on it! But, here I am, still, a year later.
Have I been able to do any of the things I had left undone?
No, not really. I still have not gathered up enough courage to do them… but I think I have a much clearer and brighter outlook on them than I did a year ago.
Have I been able to keep myself from coming undone?
No, it does not seem like it. I still feel like I am losing a bit of myself every day… but I think I have managed to slow down the loss and even freeze some parts so I have extra time to consider what I want to do with them.
Maybe time passes at a much faster speed than we can make ourselves change.
But maybe sometimes, all it takes is a moment to make a change that will make us spend time differently.
Maybe time, once passed, cannot be undone.
But maybe as long as it is passing, we will have plenty of opportunities to get ourselves undone from all the things that hold us back.
I believe my life will remain undone until the very moment I perish. So until then, maybe I will keep undoing and redoing myself at my own speed… and from time to time, surprise myself of what I am capable of doing and being.
Thank you so much to everyone who has ever been here, and keeps returning here, for letting me do and be something I would never have imagined a year ago… I am still unsure if I have been able to meet the challenge I spontaneously dove into a year ago, but one thing is for sure, no show of appreciation shall ever go undone!