On March 5th, I had originally planned to go visit my grandmother, to hold early celebration for her birthday on the following Tuesday with a few relatives. But a couple of days before, I was told that the nursing home she is staying at became temporarily closed to all visitors to prevent an outbreak of flu within the facility.
I was all ready to go, buying Origami papers I thought I would fold with her. I was looking forward to maybe decorating her room with Origami ornaments for her birthday party, and even make a paper crown for the birthday girl if my abilities allowed. But, Origami no more… my precious time together with my dear grandma had to be postponed, and I suddenly had nothing to do for the day.
I wanted to get upset. I badmouthed the flu for a little while, and I tried to blame the nursing home for their decision to close down at the worst timing possible. But it all felt meaningless – the flu would not care one bit if I badmouthed it because it already has a bad enough reputation, and I knew deep down that the nursing home made the right decision so they could keep taking good care of their residents, including my grandmother.
So, I had to find some other way to diffuse the anger and frustration that had built up within me because I could not direct them anywhere. Preferably a more feel-good and constructive way, I thought – not the dark side, but the bright side of this unfortunate situation.
Maybe I have more time to think about what I will bring to my grandmother the next time I see her?
Maybe another one of my tatting, since I am told that she seems to like the previous one I gave her.
Maybe I can tat another edging around a handkerchief, but this time in spring colours.
And to make it a little more challenging for me, I can choose a bigger hanky than the previous one.
When I was focused only on the dark side of not being able to see my grandmother, I was so caught up in the negativity of it all, I could not look ahead or move forward. But when I started to look for any bright sides to it, I soon had new goals and redrawn plans.
Maybe it is not so easy to look on the bright side in every situation.
Maybe it is much easier, and seemingly practical, to unload the negative feelings that weigh on you, caused by the dark side.
But although badmouthing and blaming the actual or suspected culprit that made the situation go awry can let off some steam, so long as the negative feelings are there, they will surely build up new steam at a later time.
So, maybe it is best that the negative feelings be brought over the bright side to shed light on how they can be redefined as potential – and hopefully, actual – contributors that make the situation get better.
As I make this post on March 26, 2017, I believe have gotten over anger and frustration caused by not being able to see my grandmother on a special occasion by getting a pretty hanky and starting to tat an edging for it with the thread that matches it very well:
There is just one thing though… when I bought this thread, I failed to notice that the skein had only one-quarter the length of the skeins I usually buy at the same price, and recalculations show that the edging will cost twice as much as the hanky itself! I am wondering what the bright side of this unfortunate situation might be, while I fight the urge to badmouth and blame myself for making such an easy mistake…